For Sanity's Sake

looking at the wrong side?

It's been two years since I suffered from Reader's Block. And even though it usually is just something that people merely mentioned to their friend, apparently it brought me to another issues I (finally) have to face as an adult.

I've tried so hard to fight the wall, it's tiring, and useless, and just pushed me away farther. 

So, as long as reader’s block is still haunting me, I decided to move to two things that seemed to have the same capability to kill boredom: films and podcast.

Why podcast? well, for me, it has the same element of brain nutrition and entertainment, and better yet, it’s free.

Like most people, I got into podcast by jumping into the Serial trend in 2014. After it’s over, thinking probably podcasts are more than Trekkie geeks constantly giggling and screaming, I looked into another. Seeking some recommendation from known sites like The Guardian or Wired, or by randomly browsing in my podcatcher.

I got into some usual classics like TED Talks, 99% Invisible, No Such Thing As A Fish, Myths & Legends, etc. ..and then I plunged into the audio drama, and my whole world is never be the same again. I’m officially hooked and drown into it, starting from less than 5 podcasts, now my subscription list got more than 50 podcasts in it, and will definitely increased.

Like a fruit salad, podcast is light but highly nutritious. Only with less than an hour of time, I could listen the tragic history of Marilyn Monroe, complete discussion about Atlantis, or even a debate between a wizard and a talking badger. And while listening, I could still doing numerous other stuffs, whether it’s cleaning my dumpy room, doing exercise, or waiting the incoming bus. Short is, I could get busy without all the hassle.

And that is basically means the world to me...

Suffering from reader’s block not just making me unable to read, but also removing the only known escape door from life. My mind couldn’t wander around and get lost and making alternative scenarios, I have to face life. And sadly, apparently, I’m still not prepared to do that. And the space between imagination escapade and life are filled with depression, social anxiety, panic attacks…name your monster.

So, unable to hide yet unable to not face life, but not wanting to go into self-pity and depression, where do I go? Podcast.

I could build another scenarios in my head while still doing things needed to be done. Probably that’s why audio drama and documentary works better for me, rather than conversational podcasts like No Such Thing As A Fish, Tested, or The Nerdist.

It’s a therapy. I could still function well as a human being, but rather than facing the monsters alone, my path are accompanied with the world of podcast. And any good psychiatrist would tell you, the ability to normally functioned in small daily routine is one of the dot that separates depression and 'just bad mood'.

Cheeky as it is, but podcast really saves my sanity. I don’t have to go down into that dark, depressing rabbit hole, but I could choose whatever hole I’m gladly jump into.